Posts Tagged 'Zen'

Some good insight on setting goals

Thoughts on should you be a goal-less, Zen-like Ninja priest – Juggler

Personally I don’t buy into the whole ‘be without a goal stuff’. I find that most people without a goal drift aimlessly in an interaction. I always had a goal when I went out to pick up women. Every f*cking time. Most were small goals but there was always a goal.

I think I get what the Zen warriors on this board are saying. They don’t want a guy to become needy. What better way not to be needy then to not have a goal. Sounds good on paper. In practice I have just never got it to work.

The problem with being goal centered is that most guys are too focused on not enjoying what is happening right in front of them. They are too far ahead in their minds. They don’t really listen and they don’t really care about what they are talking about in the moment. This causes their timing to suck and for them to act stupid. Kinda like they are drunk but without the fun.

But the problem is not the goal. It is the idea that the goal is difficult or more precisely, that the goal is 100% their responsibility. It is not. Imagine yourself sitting in an inner tube on a lazy river during a hot summer day with all your buddies and a keg of beer. Your goal may be to get down the river but you just don’t have any anxiety about it. You are so confident that you will reach your goal that you don’t have to struggle. You can enjoy the moment, sing football songs or splash the natives while occasionally steering yourself away from a sandbar. You are not unattached to your goal but rather you are lightly attached.

To be successful I feel that you should have a goal but understand that the path is by definition a fun path. It is not a struggle.



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